So exactly one year ago, I was in New Orleans. It seems so recent, yet so long ago at the same time. In memory of this occasion I shall tell you the proper way in which to gut a house. I hope I haven't written about this already. I feel that I have, but oh well. You can read it again.
Step 1: Clear out all furniture, refrigerators and anything else on the floor so that the house is empty.
Step 2: Rip out the carpet (if applicable). It is very important to do this before you go tearing out walls etc because it is virtually impossible to scoop things off a damp carpet with a shovel.
Step 3: Start tearing down the walls. Don't let the debris pile up; clean as you go!
Step 4: Ceilings are next. It is especially fun if you can smash ceiling fans with a large heavy object, ideally a sledgehammer but a huge crowbar works as well. Watch out for insulation, it's a killer.
Step 5: Make sure the house is reasonably swept up.
Step 6: Take a shower. You reek.
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The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives... To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord... to comfort all who mourn... Giving them… the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. -Isaiah 61:1-3
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