Week 1

I finished my first 2 days of class- woo! It will be an interesting semester, my worst class probably being Research. Blech. I hate research anyway, and to have a class devoted to only that... yikes. I think this might be my Semester of Thinking. It seems that many difficult and troubling issues will arise in class discussions. Thinking- what a bother. =)

I was so excited about my Community Development class all through break. The description found in the catalogue is the following:
An introduction to ministry among the marginalized. The course explores the plight of the poor and confronts assumptions about poverty. Students will also explore participatory development methods in order to learn how to give the poor a voice.
Our first class was tonight (it's every Wednesday night from 6-9 pm), and it was incredible. It's going to be a bit of work, but I think it will be amazing. My comfort zone is going to be terribly put aside; some of the activities that are in the syllabus is going to be a real struggle for me to accomplish willingly. I definitely have a passion and heart to help those in need, but I seem see everything in theory. When the time is right for me to actually do something, I freeze and attempt to escape the situation; my application is lacking. It's so frustrating to me that, as Paul says in Romans 7:15, "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate."
We saw pictures of starving children tonight. I just wanted to hold them and feed them. But that's not really feasible and helpful in "real life." How can systems be changed so that people don't have to even be in this situation? How can we make a difference that really matters and that will truly impact those in poverty? And why don't we help more, even with little things here in America? We don't know what to do when faced with pictures and situations of the impoverished. We turn away when we see the commercials from Compassion International on TV. Why? Because we don't know what to do, how to handle this huge problem. So we ignore it. We are frozen by fear, I believe. Fear of our inability, fear of situations, fear of... what? Of what might come? I know I'm scared that God will put me in situations that will make me uncomfortable and that will break my heart. Welcome to life, Stephanie.
I was thinking of my new membership to the gym that I just got yesterday. I'm exercising so that I can lose all my excess fat. Why do I even need to lose it? Because I am privileged enough to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, as much as I want. But those in the pictures... these people barely have enough to survive. Many don't have that much, and so they perish. It doesn't seem fair: why should I have excess and they have nothing? One girl in class was mentioning that she often feels that she should feel guilty that she has been born in America. I don't think I've ever felt guilty, but I've always figured that with my privileged state I can help others. So there's no guilt in my excess, but a responsibility (and perhaps even an honor) to help those who are without.
Needless to say, I am very excited about this class. It will be a challenging yet an enlightening experience. I hope I will be able to act on my convictions rather than just talk about them.

*gets off soapbox and does homework*