Grammer

"How do you think you have improved?" I asked my 13-year-old client.

"Well," he replied, "my friends tell me I conversate more better."

Life On The Highway

I am on the road a lot for my job, and I tend to see a lot of strange people in their cars. Take the other day for instance. I was actually driving with Sarah rather than traveling around for work, but I look over to the car next to me, and this guy is totally rocking out to whatever music he's listening to. I have never seen someone so enthusiastic about their music while driving by themself in a car. Quite entertaining.

I actually really enjoy trying to envision what type of person would be driving a particular car. (What can I say... I drive an automatic so I get prety bored while driving 100+ miles per day.) Monster trucks? Duh, a 24-year-old guy with a black baseball hat and a pierced lip. SUV? Soccer mom with lots of hairspray. Junker car? Young guy. Most unpredictable: VW beetle. Sometimes there are young girls with bouncy ponytails, other times there are orange-haired sexagenarians, and still other time, and perhaps most disturbing of all, middle-aged men in polo shirts.

I also see lots of dead animals. Dogs seem to have a rough time at life (or death). A bunch of friends and I had watched the movie Marley and Me (starring Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston), which, not to ruin it for you or anything, was REALLY sad! I mean, it was heartwarming, but sad. And then, THEN, I was driving along a couple days post-movie and I saw a large dead dog by the side of the road that looked just like Marley. Thankfully, I had 3 boxes of tissues in my car.

Now I don't know about anyone else, but I have always wondered/worried about those little dogs that hang out the window while their owners are racing along at exhorbitant speeds. Do they ever fall out? Does the force of the wind flying over their flapping tongue drag them from their master's loose grip? I found out this past week. They do indeed fall out. A little Chihuahua lay in the center divider, his stiff legs straight out, a blue collar hugging his neck. Poor little guy. I don't even like Chihuahuas, but it was someone's pet! Someone endured the TRAGEDY of their dog being torn from their loving arms and being HURTLED onto the unforgiving asphalt.

Wouldn't you love to commute??

Well, there's a first time for everything

My 2 friends and I were sitting in Starbucks last night (per usual), and one of the baristas walked up to us on her way out.

"Hey," she shyly pointed and me and asked, "are you a cheerleader at APU?"

"Uh, no," I responded. I began to wonder what the APU cheerleaders looked like.

"Not any of you?" she her point included all three of us.

"Nooo."

"Well, you look just like the girls on the cheer team at APU. How funny!"

We weren't sure how to take that. I said that I was going to take it as a complement, and while my one friend seemed a bit disturbed by the comparison, my other friend reassured us by saying, "She's complementing our looks; she couldn't have heard our conversation." And even if she had, there was no basis for thinking we were stereotypical cheerleaders. *phew*

Another entertaining evening at home

"I guess I could play a game," sighed Mom. "I just have to be ready to go pick up Abby when she calls."

"Well, then you should have a staff in your hand," returned Dad cheerfully, "and loin up your girds."

Want a laugh? Look on Craig's List

So in a half-serious search for a new car with better gas mileage and doors that lock, I was bopping around on Craig's List. I came the following post. I almost died laughing.

2001 Green New VW Beetle Original Owner, under 85,300 miles I've driven this car since i was 16 and i just finished college and now i'm ready to buy a new car. I've never been in an accident, one time i backed into a lady carrying an ice cream cake in a parking lot, but no one was hurt, especially not my car. (That was closer to when i was 16)

and later...

Anything else you're wondering if it has, i'm sure it does, i'm not looking at the manual or anything. Concerning the engine, i don't know what cylinders are but they're probably there. (joking) It's all there and works great!

I almost want to buy it just because the post was so funny!